why I have been so absent lately

One month ago today, I lost my sweet baby. I was ten weeks pregnant. 

It's been the longest and most difficult month of my life. 
But it has also been the most life-changing and transforming.

I am definitely not the same woman I was before this all happened. 

I am stronger. 
I am more tender hearted. 
I am more compassionate. 
I appreciate the little things more. 
I value my children more. 

I have never been more dependent on God, 
and my intimacy with Him is deeper and richer than ever before. 

There has been tremendous loss, but there has also been tremendous gain. 

Beauty has come from these ashes. 

And I find such joy and peace knowing that my baby is in the arms of Jesus. 

I am learning and growing and grieving and resting
and praying and worshiping and laughing and crying
and playing and receiving and giving.

I am His beloved, and He is mine.